I'm prone to speak of one of Norway's neighbours - Sweden. If you have been following this blog for a while, you know all about my love-hate relationship with Norway's "older brother". Or rather, how I pretend to hate Sweden, while in reality I love it (except when it comes to sports. That's the only arena where my Swedenmosity is genuine...).
Our other close "relative", however - Denmark - I haven't spoken much about. Denmark is a little further away. You actually have to cross an ocean (albeit a narrow one). Also, Norway and Norwegians are strangely concerned about Sweden, while Denmark occasionally falls out of our conscience.
Even if we write Danish.
Even if our flag is the Danish flag with a blue cross in it.
Even if we imported our royal family from Denmark.
Even if practically every flight anywhere in the world to/from Norway goes via Denmark.
Even if they ruled us for 400 hundred years.
We forgave that...
I know I've previously mentioned how strange it is that while our union with Denmark was four centuries of absolutist rule, Norwegians are only bitter about the less than a century with Sweden in a much looser constellation where we had our own constitution, Parliament and flag. We like to think of Denmark as our protector, somehow. Perhaps not a brother or sister - more like an uncle, perhaps? The uncle that always is a little tipsy and brings you presents from abroad. That's Denmark to Norway. Slightly less close than Sweden, but infinitely more appreciated. Poor Sweden.
I've grown to appreciate Denmark more recently, though. First of all, some of the very excellent people I met in Tokyo were Danish. I've had Danish friends before - the first one was on a vacation when I was five, and I didn't understand a word she said. Language is a problem with Danes, you see. Despite the fact that our written language (or one of them - yes, we have two. No, they are not all that different. No, don't tell my Neo-Norwegian patriot friends I said that...) basically is a Norwegianified Danish, oral Danish is quite difficult to understand. Norwegians commonly think Danish people sound like they speak with a potato in their throats. Some of my Danish friends agree... With some practice, though, I can usually understand Danish if. They. Speak. Slowly. Slooowly. It cuts through the potato, then.
Written Danish, on the other hand, is not problematic for a Norwegian to read. Thus, it poses no particular challenge when I in my current job have to read a lot of Danish newspapers. In fact, by now I think I prefer reading Danish - it sounds much more poetic and elegant than Norwegian does! Also, the Danish debate I am reading up on is much more "spicy" than anything you'll find in Norway. While we consider the Danes to be mellow people, they certainly have much more zing to their public commentary than what we have. It makes for more interesting reading material, for sure.
They may be bold in their debates, but the Danes are also surprisingly polite. For instance, I was surprised to find myself addressed with "De" and "Dem" in an email in reply to some inquiries I had. We have this polite version in Norwegian too - it compares to the German "Sie" or the French "Vous" - but we never, ever use it anymore (I don't anyone has since the 1960s). I commented on this to my Danish friend, and he replied that it is not very common in Denmark anymore either, but that is is used for "customers, elderly people and Norwegians". Obviously, the latter was a joke, but it says something about the relationship between our two countries. In many ways I think Danes think of Norway as the prodigal son - they fondly awaits that we will come back under their influence once we've tried all this "independence" nonsense... (I might also add that another Danish friend commented that had I been Swedish, I probably wouldn't have gotten a reply at all... That says something about the relationship between those two countries, I suppose...)
Oh, it's all fun and games, of course. Norway, Denmark and Sweden - Scandinavia (and if we include Iceland and Finland we've got the whole Nordic family) - we're good friends. We begrudgingly vote for each other in the Eurovision Song Contest. We occasionally cheer for each others' teams in sports competitions (perhaps that is why we like Denmark better, by the way? We generally don't do the same sports...). We cooperate in politics and economy, we read each others' literature and watch each others' movies. We have similar values and ideas and systems. We get along pretty well, despite our historical differences. And we looooove to make fun of each other. As evidenced below.
Showing posts with label Eurovision Song Contest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eurovision Song Contest. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
On ostrich orange ottoman orgasms
Don't worry - this blog hasn't turned into a kinky XX shop (if you think I put the XX's in because I'm too prudish you're only partially right. I put them in because I couldn't think of any dirty words. Also, I am prudish).
Even if I am prudish, however, I can be led astray. And I have good friends that frequently try.
Last night I was on Facebook posting silly status updates along the lines of "I've been kidnapped by bad habits". (I even tried to make people pay ransom, since I am broke, but my luck was out. No one care enough about me to pay my ransom. Or, as one friend pointed out, ransom rarely helps. In fact, if other people paid my bad habits, it might even make things worse. But I digress...)
Another friend, the lovely Tara, was using her status update to complain about how she was stuck in the A-Z challenge. Been there, done that, I thought, and thus I thought I'd make a "helpful" suggestion - why not write her O-post about ottomans (or Ottomans - take your pick)? I'm not sure Tara felt particularly helped, but we had a nice chat that resulted in much amusement (and a coining of the term SLAWCS - I'm sure Tara will explain this at the first possible occasion)..
Fifteen minutes into this chat, another friend, the equally lovely Tami, arrived. For some reason, when Tami arrives, any conversation tends to take a naughty turn. Don't know why. It's a force of habit.
Anyway, Tami too was having problems with the A-Z challenge. What to to do for O? (Ooo - or it won't rhyme) Both Tami and Tara had toyed with the thought of going with "the big O". Personally, I was going orange. I still thought Tara should do ottomans. (Not "do"-do... See, now that Tami is in the picture, my mind turns to the gutter...) But then an idea was born - how about we mixed it all together and did a three-way of sorts?
I was slightly worried. I was game for orange (I already had it covered - but now you'll have to wait till post-April to read it), could think of one or two ideas for Ottomans (or ottomans), and even though I've no ideas where the ostriches came from - sure, I'd make it work. But... The big O? Hm... (This is where my prudishness comes in) How would this work with keeping my blog PG-Twitterteen? (I don't know what Twitter has to do with anything. Really.)
I swallowed my prude, though, and accepted the challenge. Unfortunately, now I have to think of something to actually write (that is only partially orange). Thus:
Orange ottomans.
Orange ostriches.
Ottoman ostriches.
Orange Ottoman ostriches.
Ostrich ottomans.
Ostrich Oranges.
Ottoman oranges.
And then. Of course. Ostrich orgasms. Orange orgasms. Ottoman orgasms, or, orgasm ottomans. Oh, dear. My blog will be flooded with spam and creeps and the Internet is likely to explode. Before that happens, though, don't forget to visit both Tara and Tami today. I'm quite curious how they are tackling this challenge within the challenge!
UPDATE - We're a foursome! Our dear friend Natasha took us by surprise, and joined in on the fun. You need to visit there too - her part is brilliant!
Even if I am prudish, however, I can be led astray. And I have good friends that frequently try.
Last night I was on Facebook posting silly status updates along the lines of "I've been kidnapped by bad habits". (I even tried to make people pay ransom, since I am broke, but my luck was out. No one care enough about me to pay my ransom. Or, as one friend pointed out, ransom rarely helps. In fact, if other people paid my bad habits, it might even make things worse. But I digress...)
Another friend, the lovely Tara, was using her status update to complain about how she was stuck in the A-Z challenge. Been there, done that, I thought, and thus I thought I'd make a "helpful" suggestion - why not write her O-post about ottomans (or Ottomans - take your pick)? I'm not sure Tara felt particularly helped, but we had a nice chat that resulted in much amusement (and a coining of the term SLAWCS - I'm sure Tara will explain this at the first possible occasion)..
Fifteen minutes into this chat, another friend, the equally lovely Tami, arrived. For some reason, when Tami arrives, any conversation tends to take a naughty turn. Don't know why. It's a force of habit.
Anyway, Tami too was having problems with the A-Z challenge. What to to do for O? (Ooo - or it won't rhyme) Both Tami and Tara had toyed with the thought of going with "the big O". Personally, I was going orange. I still thought Tara should do ottomans. (Not "do"-do... See, now that Tami is in the picture, my mind turns to the gutter...) But then an idea was born - how about we mixed it all together and did a three-way of sorts?
I was slightly worried. I was game for orange (I already had it covered - but now you'll have to wait till post-April to read it), could think of one or two ideas for Ottomans (or ottomans), and even though I've no ideas where the ostriches came from - sure, I'd make it work. But... The big O? Hm... (This is where my prudishness comes in) How would this work with keeping my blog PG-Twitterteen? (I don't know what Twitter has to do with anything. Really.)
I swallowed my prude, though, and accepted the challenge. Unfortunately, now I have to think of something to actually write (that is only partially orange). Thus:
Orange ottomans.
Orange ostriches.
Ottoman ostriches.
Orange Ottoman ostriches.
Ostrich ottomans.
Ostrich Oranges.
Ottoman oranges.
And then. Of course. Ostrich orgasms. Orange orgasms. Ottoman orgasms, or, orgasm ottomans. Oh, dear. My blog will be flooded with spam and creeps and the Internet is likely to explode. Before that happens, though, don't forget to visit both Tara and Tami today. I'm quite curious how they are tackling this challenge within the challenge!
UPDATE - We're a foursome! Our dear friend Natasha took us by surprise, and joined in on the fun. You need to visit there too - her part is brilliant!
Monday, May 31, 2010
On scrambled eggs (not really)
I’m fighting a(nother!) cold and I’ve got a lot of my mind (including a troublesome drabble I am trying to write for the June 2010 Burrow feature which we are launching tomorrow – you should check it out [tomorrow, on June 1st that is] on www.the-burrow.org,) so this will be a short post. It’s unavoidable to mention one of the other things on my mind since the Burrow also launches another event tomorrow – it’s the GO! date for the BuNoWriMo. If you haven’t joined yet, you should check it out (the logo in the top right corner of this page will take you directly there). We are currently at 90 members – that means 90 people who will help YOU write a novel in June (if you let us) – and there is room for plenty more!
What I really wanted to post today, though, is something that has to do with my Saturday post. I won’t give you a full review of the Eurovision show (because, let’s face it, the artistic highlights were few), but there is one thing from the show I wanted to share.
The pause act in this year’s Eurovision Song Contest was surprisingly good, it was different than it usually is (actually, it was different than anything I’ve ever seen). Watching this live made me remember what people can do when they get together and work towards a mutual goal, and this is also an example of a happening that would not have been possible without the help of modern technology. The music starts about 50 seconds in, and I highly recommend watching at least a couple of minutes to get an idea what is really going on here (actually, just watch the whole thing. It’s really cool!).
One final comment on Eurovision and I swear I won’t mention it again for a year… Did you know that if you google “men in silver hotpants” in Australia my blog comes up as one of the top hits? I know this because a considerable of the hits I had over the weekend came from Aussies looking for the good stuff in really short shorts…
What I really wanted to post today, though, is something that has to do with my Saturday post. I won’t give you a full review of the Eurovision show (because, let’s face it, the artistic highlights were few), but there is one thing from the show I wanted to share.
The pause act in this year’s Eurovision Song Contest was surprisingly good, it was different than it usually is (actually, it was different than anything I’ve ever seen). Watching this live made me remember what people can do when they get together and work towards a mutual goal, and this is also an example of a happening that would not have been possible without the help of modern technology. The music starts about 50 seconds in, and I highly recommend watching at least a couple of minutes to get an idea what is really going on here (actually, just watch the whole thing. It’s really cool!).
One final comment on Eurovision and I swear I won’t mention it again for a year… Did you know that if you google “men in silver hotpants” in Australia my blog comes up as one of the top hits? I know this because a considerable of the hits I had over the weekend came from Aussies looking for the good stuff in really short shorts…
Saturday, May 29, 2010
On the Eurovision Song Contest (yes, you heard me…)
I wasn’t going to blog about this. Actually, I wasn’t going to blog at all today, but there you go… See, the Eurovision fever has invaded Norway. For those of you who are not European, I will explain. For those of you who are, cover your ears (or actually, your eyes, since I am not reading this out loud) for the next paragraph or so – as I am sure you are accustomed to doing during the Eurovision final anyway…
The Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) is an annual spectacle where performers from all over Europe (one from each of the European Broadcasting Union countries) gather to show off their feather boas, fake folk costumes, hair extensions, silver hot pants (worn by men, I kid you not) and glittering veils. There are wigs, and epaulettes and skin-tight costumes that would make both Lady Gaga and Borat envious. Also, there are some songs, but generally the dancing and the costumes are more elaborate than the actual vocal performances. Frequent elements in the actual songs, however, include terrible English pronunciation or lyrics in obscure languages (like Norwegian, but it’s been a while since we sent a song with anything else than English lyrics), key changes, and – speaking of key – voices so off-key that it will burn your ears off unless you are careful. The purpose of this torture/so-bad-it’s-almost-good-sort-of-fun is to vote for a winner whose home country will be the host of next year’s final.
The ESC is one of those things you either love to hate, or hate to love (I have heard rumours that there also are those who love to love it, but I have never actually met any…). It is very nearly impossible to avoid, at least here in Norway it is a pretty big deal, and this year the deal is slightly bigger than usual. Last year’s final took place in Moscow, and the winner – you all guessed it, right? – was Alexander Rybak from Norway! Now, I am saying this in a “I-used-to-think-it-was-sort-of-cool-we-won-because-it-was-such-a-long-time-since-last-time-we-won-(1995, and then 1985 before that)-but-now-I-am-so-over-it-and-I-will-only-watch-parts-of-the-show-this-year”-ironic sort of tone. I’ve heard last year’s winning song, “Fairytale”, so many times I almost fell off my chair in spasms from just trying to find a YouTube clip of it for this post. Norwegian media have been filled with ESC stories for months – who will host, what will they wear, what will the intermission act be, what do the foreigners really think of us? That last part is the core of the motivation for every country hosting the ESC final – it’s a way of showing the rest of Europe what your country can offer. In Norway’s case, it’s probably going to have to do with either skiing or trolls, I’m sure.
Hosting the ESC is expensive, and with several European countries at the brink of bankruptcy it seems evident that they are sending poor contributions to avoid having to host the final next year. Actually, that could explain a lot historically as well… Norway has made sure that we won’t win two times in a row, since we’re sending a ballad (and only France and Switzerland has ever pulled those off – the latter only because they had Céline Dion, for some reason. Isn't she Canadian?). The Norwegian song is furthermore two parts cliché and one part overkill, so there shouldn’t be any risks that we win. In addition there are long traditions in the ESC history to only vote for your neighbor. Back when the Broadcasting Union only consisted of Western European countries we tolerated this, but the last decade a number of Eastern European countries have performed something of a coup d’état since there are so many of them. All of a sudden the Western European states have realized that the voting system is unfair… Every now and then a non-Easter European country still wins, like Norway did last year (though the aforementioned Alexander is originally from Belarus, so it might not actually count…).
One happy thing to report, though – Sweden didn’t make it past the semi final. The ESC is, along with Winter Olympics, the one competition Norwegians cannot stand to lose to Sweden (even though we frequently do). Since Norway is pre-qualified to the grand final we have already beaten them. Yay!
I do not recommend cancelling any important appointments to catch the final tonight, but if you are not doing anything other than sitting around the house drinking martinis anyway, watching current or past ESC clips on YouTube certainly can be entertaining. I’ve assembled a few samples for you to get started, just to give an idea of the treat you’re in for…
Portugal 1981 (the actual song starts at about 1:07, but it might be worth to listen to the Monty Pythonesque narrator as well…)
Finland 2006 (they actually won…!)
Belgium 1973 (LOOK at those costumes!)
And last, but not least, Johnny Logan, Ireland, 1987:
(this suit is almost as bad as the previous ones…)
(If this gets bagpiped up, it's just because I haven't ever posted videos on here before, so I'm not 100% sure it works...)
The Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) is an annual spectacle where performers from all over Europe (one from each of the European Broadcasting Union countries) gather to show off their feather boas, fake folk costumes, hair extensions, silver hot pants (worn by men, I kid you not) and glittering veils. There are wigs, and epaulettes and skin-tight costumes that would make both Lady Gaga and Borat envious. Also, there are some songs, but generally the dancing and the costumes are more elaborate than the actual vocal performances. Frequent elements in the actual songs, however, include terrible English pronunciation or lyrics in obscure languages (like Norwegian, but it’s been a while since we sent a song with anything else than English lyrics), key changes, and – speaking of key – voices so off-key that it will burn your ears off unless you are careful. The purpose of this torture/so-bad-it’s-almost-good-sort-of-fun is to vote for a winner whose home country will be the host of next year’s final.
The ESC is one of those things you either love to hate, or hate to love (I have heard rumours that there also are those who love to love it, but I have never actually met any…). It is very nearly impossible to avoid, at least here in Norway it is a pretty big deal, and this year the deal is slightly bigger than usual. Last year’s final took place in Moscow, and the winner – you all guessed it, right? – was Alexander Rybak from Norway! Now, I am saying this in a “I-used-to-think-it-was-sort-of-cool-we-won-because-it-was-such-a-long-time-since-last-time-we-won-(1995, and then 1985 before that)-but-now-I-am-so-over-it-and-I-will-only-watch-parts-of-the-show-this-year”-ironic sort of tone. I’ve heard last year’s winning song, “Fairytale”, so many times I almost fell off my chair in spasms from just trying to find a YouTube clip of it for this post. Norwegian media have been filled with ESC stories for months – who will host, what will they wear, what will the intermission act be, what do the foreigners really think of us? That last part is the core of the motivation for every country hosting the ESC final – it’s a way of showing the rest of Europe what your country can offer. In Norway’s case, it’s probably going to have to do with either skiing or trolls, I’m sure.
Hosting the ESC is expensive, and with several European countries at the brink of bankruptcy it seems evident that they are sending poor contributions to avoid having to host the final next year. Actually, that could explain a lot historically as well… Norway has made sure that we won’t win two times in a row, since we’re sending a ballad (and only France and Switzerland has ever pulled those off – the latter only because they had Céline Dion, for some reason. Isn't she Canadian?). The Norwegian song is furthermore two parts cliché and one part overkill, so there shouldn’t be any risks that we win. In addition there are long traditions in the ESC history to only vote for your neighbor. Back when the Broadcasting Union only consisted of Western European countries we tolerated this, but the last decade a number of Eastern European countries have performed something of a coup d’état since there are so many of them. All of a sudden the Western European states have realized that the voting system is unfair… Every now and then a non-Easter European country still wins, like Norway did last year (though the aforementioned Alexander is originally from Belarus, so it might not actually count…).
One happy thing to report, though – Sweden didn’t make it past the semi final. The ESC is, along with Winter Olympics, the one competition Norwegians cannot stand to lose to Sweden (even though we frequently do). Since Norway is pre-qualified to the grand final we have already beaten them. Yay!
I do not recommend cancelling any important appointments to catch the final tonight, but if you are not doing anything other than sitting around the house drinking martinis anyway, watching current or past ESC clips on YouTube certainly can be entertaining. I’ve assembled a few samples for you to get started, just to give an idea of the treat you’re in for…
Portugal 1981 (the actual song starts at about 1:07, but it might be worth to listen to the Monty Pythonesque narrator as well…)
Finland 2006 (they actually won…!)
Belgium 1973 (LOOK at those costumes!)
And last, but not least, Johnny Logan, Ireland, 1987:
(this suit is almost as bad as the previous ones…)
(If this gets bagpiped up, it's just because I haven't ever posted videos on here before, so I'm not 100% sure it works...)
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