Wednesday, April 20, 2011

On questions, of the frequently googled variety.

Every now and then I check the stats for this site. Not actually because I am so terribly obsessed about how many people visit my blog (well, okay, slightly because of that too), but because checking the stats can be quite entertaining. You see, there is a function that allows you to see from what website the visitors came. Quite a lot of them are from, .au, .ca, .so-on and .so-forth. In itself not very interesting, but amusing when you also look at the search terms used by these visitors. Or at least the ones landing on my blog are fairly interesting...

This week
One of the major hits this week have been from people googling the sentence: ”Adam Hills you’re not special princess”. I am sure Adam Hills is glad to hear that… 

Actually, though, I happen to know what people are looking for when they google it. It's a bit (stop laughing Aussies...) he did as part of the hilarious "Live at the Apollo", and it's got many of my favourite Adam Hills jokes. 

What I don't get, however, is why these googlers end up on my blog. I don't have the video here. Or rather, I didn't use to. But since I feel the need to satisfy these people who are clearly looking for a laugh, I am now posting the video here. Hopefully it'll satisfy some of the rest of you too. 

The princess part starts at about 6:52, but do yourself a favour and watch the rest too. And make sure you don't have any coffee or such in your mouth while watching (it will end up in your nose/on your screen). 

(Also, for clarity - the reason these people end up here might have a little something to do with this post...)

This month

Turning to my monthly stats, there are some truly random searches. I particularly like "nuclear chemistry site", "gingerbread song egner", and "norway starbucks salary". Let me try to answer your questions, random googlers.

Nuclear chemistry is not, has not been, and definitely never will be a specialty of mine. But since you came here looking for it, I can only assume that you ended up on my post on the Fukushima threat. This post was written when I still was in Japan, and it is coloured by this. However, I still feel that most of it is valid, even though some of my points seem less impressive now that the nuclear disaster has been ongoing for more than a month. "Fukushima will not be a Chernobyl 2!" I said. And yet - the disaster has since been upgraded to the top level of severity on the nuclear disaster scale. The same as Chernobyl. I still don't think Fukushima will have the lasting and widespread effects Chernobyl had - the way the radioactive material have leaked this time, for instance, is still quite different than it was in 1986. But there is no doubt that Fukushima has become much more severe than I was willing to believe one month ago. 

Was this what you were looking for, random googler? If not, let me guide you to a "nuclear chemistry site". You can never go wrong with Wikipedia. (Yes you can. Muchly. But if you want nuclear chemistry beyond that I am afraid you'll have to look elsewhere than this blog for answers.)

Torbjørn Egner's "The Gingerbread Song". You're at the wrong time of year, that's for sure. In Norway we only make these cookies for Christmas. But okay - I don't mind if you want to sing the song all year long. I have written about it, but I failed to include the actual song. Let me make up for that right away. Here you'll find one version. It probably won't make any sense to anyone that isn't Norwegian (since you won't understand the lyrics, or the pun), so I better also include a link to the original version of the song. You still won't understand the lyrics, but at least you might be able to see why the former is amusing (it's a parody). Also, I took the liberty to translate (very directly, very unlyrically) the lyrics. Just in case that's what you were looking for: 

When a gingerbread cookie baker
Is baking gingerbread cookies
He first takes a cooking pot
And a kilo margarine
He melts the butter [margarine..?] in the pot
And the next he has to do,
Is to mix the melted butter
With a kilo sugar.
And while the butter and sugar is foaming
You take eight egg yolks
That you stir into the pot
With a kilo wheat flour
And in the end you drop
Into the pot a small tea spoon pepper
And then stir all about!
I make no excuses for the fact that it obviously makes no sense. Plus, the recipe is rubbish, and NOT for gingerbread cookies. Egner was a better writer than was he a baker (though I JUST realized he changed P.O.V. during the song... Not so great writer either? Childhood hero lost? Nah, I forgive him).  

Norwegian Starbucks salary. This one is easy. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. You won't get a dime (or an øre, as would be more likely, this being Norway and all. Øre = 100th of a krone, by the way. Øre [also] = ear...) The reason? You'll find out here

All time

Two search phrases dominate my all time search history. Both seem incredibly unreasonable to me. 

Fraggle rock characters. 77 people have searched for "Fraggle Rock characters" and arrived at my blog. 68 simply searched for "Fraggle Rock". Add 21 for "Uncle Traveling Matt" and a dozen each for "fraggle uncle" or "fraggle rock pictures" and this is clearly one of the main searches that leads to my blog. Not giraffes. Oh, no. Fraggles. I love me some Fraggles, but this is just silly. Haven’t I written like one post about them? One!

And yet. They came here looking for Fraggles. Poor things. I feel the need to provide Fraggles. 

Looking for the theme song? It's here! And here. The latter is the Norwegian version, by the way. You know you want to hear how it sounds in Norwegian right..? Of course you do. That's why the former ALSO is the Norwegian version ;) 

By the way - did you know how JK Rowling came up with the word for non-magical people in the Harry Potter books?

Muppet + Fraggle = MUGGLE! 

(True story)

Cats the musical. I am no crazy cat lady, but I am a crazy-cat lady. I’m not the crazy one – the cats are. You see, I have this special thing - I don't know if it's a touch, a way of moving, a smell, or Digression forbid, a stench - but cats love it. I generally get along well with other people's cats (I've never owned one myself), but the real oddity is with stray cats (actual cats). Stray cats have followed me home since I was little (still cats. No metaphor intended). They would seek out my window - among the dozens of other windows in my house, they would always find mine - and then sit there and cry all night, until I took pity on them and talked back, or came out, or fed them or some such thing. Like magic.

Apparently, this magic also works across the internet. I know I have written about this before, but it still baffles me. Why do people search for cats, and end up here, of all places?!? The internet is swarming with cats (do cats swarm? A murder of crows, a pack of cats? The internet is packed with cats? Hm...). There is absolutely no need to come here to look for them! But since you did, let me help you out. I aim to please (and purr) after all (this might be why cats like me).

A great deal of the cat-searches that lead to my blog also include the words "the musical". Now, you might think this is the critically (and publically) acclaimed musical "Cats", but you are wrong boring. "The musical cat(s)", I say! Just take a look at this:

So there. Those where my answers to your frequently googled questions. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to find out who or what "gregory cauthen" and "rooibos charcot marie tooth" are, and why they lead people to my blog. 


welcome to my world of poetry said...

This was fascinating to read Cruella, I have never bothered with the stats but may well do so in the future.


mooderino said...

Adam Hills has a wooden leg, you know...

Moody Writing

David L Macaulay said...

this is interesting = folks do search for some really weird things

Jan Morrison said...

this was a deeply satisfying post, Mari. I laughed at Adam Hills and unacountably cried when Nora was playing the piano. I'm a bit raw now I guess - doesn't take much and there was something so bizarre and wonderful about that cat.
ah gee. time to walk the dog and go to work.
bye love, later. Jan

Nelson Souzza said...

The blog is very good! Congratulations!

Katie Mills said...

LOL- you wouldn't believe how many people find my blog because of my 'naked at the gynecologist' post. Sorry people, you aren't going to get any naked photos here.

Tundiel said...

This whole post was brilliant as usual, but the piano-playing cat was awesome. *nods*

Stephanie V said...

Oh, that cat is hilarious...and I have a piano lesson today!
After that I'm going to see how folks get to my blog. Just for fun.

Jeffrey Beesler said...

I'm almost afraid to ask what brings people to my blog, aside from the A-Z Challenge presently. I hope those seeking Fraggles did not go away disappointed.

Marjorie said...

Most people come to my blog looking for spring scenery. One person found my blog while looking for beautiful women. go figure.

I guess it doesn't matter how many times you post about something it always ends up leading someone to your blog.

Jules said...

OMG, I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while! THANKS! What a trooper you are to provide info. to so many lost cyber seekers :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Anonymous said...

I haven't thought about Fraggle Rock in ages! What was it, a whole 4 seasons before it got cancelled? All I remember is the theme song (which is now stuck in my head, so thanks for that) and those little construction bug thingies that were always building stuff in the background. What were they called? I'd google it, but I'd probably just end up back here anyway. ;) - G

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