On wisdom (your mother should have told you, but I obnoxiously will instead)

Tights are not pants.

Don't make eye contact when eating a banana. Unless you're prepared for the consequences.

Always use the bathroom before leaving the house.

If your relationship has to be a secret, it probably shouldn't be at all.

Your cell phone is not better company than whomever you're sharing a table with.

Splashing puddles is not just okay; every now and then, it's necessary.

Punctuation isn't redundant.

Smile!

How you feel about yourself is much more important than (what you think) others think about you.

When someone says "No offence, but..." that is code for "I'm about to offend you, but don't get mad."

Remember that you deserve appreciation.

Bad hair day? Wear a low-cut top.

Venture outside your comfort zone every now and then, but never let anyone push you to do something you cannot stand for afterwards.

So there wasn't an iPhone 5. It's not the end of the world.

Always bring a towel.

If you trim your hair every now and then, it will not grow faster, but it will look healthier.

Life is too short to read crappy books. Even if they are classics.

It qualifies as a crappy book if you don't like it. Even if it is a classic.

Never underestimate your need for sleep.

Music should make you feel something. If it doesn't - turn it off.

Don't drink and drive. Or text and drive. Or drink and text.

Wear sunscreen.