On nine things I would rather do than write my thesis

To say that the work on my thesis has not been flowing easy these last few weeks months would be like saying that climbing Mount Everest is “a bit of a hike”. It’s like every fibre of my body is working against me whenever I try to make any sort of progress. If I try to open the document entitled “Chapter Five (Or How I Lost The Will To Live)”, my toes rebel and pull out the plug to the computer. If I open any of my reference books, my eyes automatically shut, making it very hard to read anything at all. If I put my fingers to the keyboard, my elbows start twisting uncontrollably, causing perfectly sensible sentences such as “The Palestinian refugee problem remained a difficult challenge for the US authorities” to turn into nonsense: “The Oskedumuqn fureeg odrnep enraimed s fiddiclut xakkenge fro the IS arothotititties.”

On the rare occasions that my body does not rebel against me, my mind does. I stare at the screen for hours, looking pensive and concentrated, I am sure, but in reality I am shouting at the top of my lungs (but you know, inside me) “I DON’T WANNA, I DON’T WANNA!”. I really, really don’t. I want to go outside in the (for once) lovely weather. I want to read a good, fiction book. I want to procrastibake.

Basically, I want to do anything but write my thesis. So I came up with the following list:


The ten things I would least like to do right now (10 being the best of the worst):

10) Pull my nails out one by one.

9) Shave my head by use of the teeth of a (live) great white shark.

8) Sky dive into a (live) volcano.

7) Eat Roquefort cheese.

6) Eat Roquefort cheese with a topping of salmonella.

5) Eat Roquefort cheese with a topping of salmonella while reading the Twilight books.

4) Stick needles into my eyeballs.

3) Practice self-dismemberment.

2) Touch a (living or dead) snake.

1) Write my thesis.

So there you have it. I really don't want to write that thesis. But I kinda have to. I have given myself until I leave for work this afternoon to finish the crappiest draft in history (in fact, it is so crappy that there will be written Master's theses about it in the future). In the meantime I have banned myself from the blogosphere. I will pull the internet chord if I have to! If you see me around at all today, PLEASE KICK ME OUT! (When I return from work tonight, though, hopefully a free woman, I will have no kicking, please...)

In the meantime, though, why don't you check out another fabultastic post at Burrowers, Books & Balderdash?