Thursday, October 20, 2011

On unmentionables

I've been cupgraded.

The other day I went into a lingerie shop. A slightly-more-fancy-than-what-I-usually-visit type of shop, but still within my budget. (Sort of.) The kind of shop where the staff actually ask if you need any help, rather than letting you work your way through the jungle of alternatives all by yourself. The kind of shop I usually hate. But this time I was determined. It was time to figure out some basics.

The last time I had my measurements taken, was in the US.

I had - out of pure curiosity - wandered into Victoria's Secret. Turns out Victoria isn't very secretive, or at least not very discrete. Before I knew what was happening, a girl was standing with a measuring tape around my bosom. That's right. They do that in lingerie shops in the US (or at least in that one they did).

It wasn't all bad. Aside from being assaulted by a stranger (and then visually assaulted by some random guy who happened to stand close by, witnessing the whole thing AND hearing my measurements, walking out with a smug look on his face...), it was handy to know what my US measurements were. It sure made shopping easier (their sizes are nowhere near European ones. Like most things US/Europe when it comes to measurements and such). It was nice to have someone tell me what size I was supposed to have, rather than what I'd through trying and failing (and  failing some more. Failing a lot, actually) had landed on. Bra-wise, I had a good stay in the US (there were other good things as well. But this one has been neglected on this blog).

When I got back home, however, I returned to trying and failing (because naturally, I'd forgotten my normal, European size by then. Naturally).

Look. I know I not long ago promised to keep this blog free of nail polish and other girly stuff. I like to stay true to my promises. But I feel this topic is important. It is impossible for guys to understand how women struggle with this. Finding a good bra - one that fits, looks good (both with and without clothes over it), feels comfortable, offers the right support and (let's face it), gives you the cleavage you want - it's difficult! Near impossible! Every woman's struggle - and so few men are aware of and appreciate it. They only seem to hate the damn things because they are difficult to take off.

I digress.

I really do.

In the shop I visited the other day, the lady asked before she took my measurements. But there ends the demure of lingerie shop ladies in Norway too. I don't know why ladies have this job, by the way. I can think of several men who would be quite happy to be able to examine and poke and pull and adjust breasts for a living.

The lady in question was very professional, though. Besides, she was the one that upgraded me. "Take in a few inches on the circumference, and go up on cup sizes," she said. Not one size up, even, but two. I feel - there is  no other words for it - busty.

Want to see a picture?

Yeahnoabsolutelynot. You didn't really think I'd post a lingerie shot, now did you? I'm still hoping to land a job sometimes soon, after all...


sue said...

Never, never have a whiskey in hand when reading a Cruella post. Never! It spells disaster for the screen.

We have a couple of great stores near here, discrete, competent, efficient and they ALWAYS ask first - they don't want to be up on a sexual harassment charge after all. As for a man nearby, heaven forbid, they'd be frozen out of the area. The women who know these things are worth their weight in gold. With the right garment, you can breathe, stretch, move confidently and comfortably. Yep definitely worth the experience.

Rev Rosey said...

All so very true. Tell you something odd though. Every single time I get measured (which isn't often) I tend to do it twice. Just in case, you know? And each and every time they come up with a different suggestion. Same shop, two consecutive days. I have a confused underwear drawer.

Fabian said...

It's all very arcane. I still don't know what all the numbers and letters mean, so I just say "mmhm" when people talk about it. Or "aha, yes, phwoar"

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

There are so many choices in bras, it really helps to have accurate measurements.

lissa said...

it didn't sound so bad, at least the lady was professional about it. still, shouldn't she has done this in the fitting room somewhere?

it's like when I have my passport photo taken. I am quite a short person & this guy made me stand on a crate and having onlookers snicker pass me. it was embarrassing but has to be done.

hope you're having a sweet day.

Kelly said...

I remember visiting the "foundations" department of a store when I was a teenager (obviously long ago from the terminology)and having the older saleswoman give me explicit instructions on the proper way to adjust a "brassiere" after putting one on. It made a big impression on me. At least she didn't poke, prod, or grope me.

Michael Offutt said...

bewbs and their holders are very important. I know this now. Thanks for the heads up.

ViolaNut said...

I swapped mine out for a smaller band and bigger cup size too. And you know what? It DOES fit better. Too bad I can't afford to replace 'em all... :-P

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