Wednesday, February 9, 2011

On wishful thinking


A list of things I wish I could do, but really can’t:

  • Play the piano.


  • Find a pair of shoes that won’t make my feet hurt.


  • Pilot an airplane, no, wait – a hot air balloon! That would be awesome!


  • Pull of any shade of red hair.


  • Speak French. Or Japanese. Or Russian. Or basically any language that isn’t Norwegian, English, or Fairy-Swedish.


  • Time travel.


  • Read only one book at the time.


  • Sow. Though I am rather fond of the opinion of Kristin Scott Thomas’ character in The English Patient in this respect: "A woman should never learn to sew, and if she can she shouldn't admit to it." ~ Katharine Clifton.


  • Ice skate backwards. Really, I have NO idea how they do it!


  • Use my Japanese phone to anything besides making and answering calls. What’s the point of having a high-tech phone if you don’t understand how it works?


  • Get up early enough in the morning so that I don’t have to run to work.


  • Become – and stay – organized in every aspect of my life.


  • Lick my elbow. (You had to try, didn’t you?)


  • Finish this blog post in a meaningful way.


  • Giraffe. 

13 comments:

Angela Felsted said...

Lick your elbow? That one made me laugh.

H.B.Markor said...

Sow- I thought you actually wanted to sow some seeds, but think maybe you want to learn how to sew your seat in case it rips.

Ice skate backwards- I wonder how they ice skate forwards.

Good luck figuring out your phone Mari, high-tech phones are fun once you figure them out!

Jules said...

LOL, I like a pair of those shoes too. Sow, I'm learning. Giraffe doing? I think I'll pass :) I'm sure you just want one :D

PS Check out my post today ;)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Cold As Heaven said...

What's wrong with red hair?

Cold As Heaven

Ann said...

I have never aspired to lick my elbow and I would just love to be able to answer my do everything you can think of phone!!!

Pat Tillett said...

Thanks to your elbow remark, I now have one more thing on my list! I'm happy to hear that I'm not the only person who reads multiple books at the same time...

LL Cool Joe said...

I love the way you finished your blog post in a meaningful way. ;)

I have to admit to having no desire to lick my elbow. :D

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I can honestly say I've never tried to lick my elbow...

Cheeseboy said...

It took me about 2 years practice on my rollerblades, but I finally figured out how to ice skate backwards. I still don't know how I do it.

Katie Rob said...

and 1 thing you CAN do... visit Louisiana!

Patricia Stoltey said...

This is a great list. I read a story when I was a kid that said a girl who kissed her elbow could turn into a boy. Since I definitely did not want to turn into one of those horrid creatures, I never attempted to do anything to my elbow that even came close to a kiss. :)

Cruella Collett said...

Angela - *snicker* I've seen it in several memes over the years, and every time it lures new people into trying the impossible...

Maria - ack, this I Norwegianify that? I do that. More now, actually, since I find that I communicate easier with Japanese people if I tone up my Norwegian accent when speaking English... Weird!

Jules - giraffe shoes, perhaps that would help? I haven't seen any, but I did see giraffe wine at the store today...

CAH - Nothing! Except when it's on me. I really wish I could look good with it, but I don't. No sir!

Ann - just don't do it at once (licking the elbow and figuring out the phone). It might make things even trickier...

Pat - triksy, innit? Apparently elbow-licking (at least if it's your own elbow...) is impossible, but I'm sure there is someone, somewhere you know how!

LL - how about someone else's elbow? I hear that is easier... And yes, giraffes are very meaningful ;)

Alex - really? Not even after having read this? I'm disappointed... ;)

Abe - congratulations! I feel that you have an obligation to spread this knowledge to the world, though...

Katie - true that, I only have to wait one more year, till they'll let me back in.... ;) (Be careful what you wish for!)

Patricia - haha, I can see how that would prevent elbow licking! Funny, I thought it required a rather complicated operation plus heaps of hormone pills...

sue said...

My son can find comfortable shoes, work out phones without any assistance at all AND lick his elbow! Some people have all the luck.

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