Wednesday, August 11, 2010

On dishes

Man, I hate doing the dishes.

I didn’t use to hate doing the dishes. It’s a recent pet peeve of mine. I used to think that doing the dishes was the nicest of housework (if any sort of housework can be considered “nice”, of which I doubt. A lot). I used to think that doing the dishes was relatively quick, and that once they were done you had a nice, fluffy feeling of accomplishment to keep you happy for the rest of the day. I used to sing when I did the dishes!

I even used to think that people who hate doing the dishes were lame. How ignorant I was!

I don’t know when it turned exactly. It must be less than a year, because I can’t remember feeling particularly cranky about doing the dishes when I lived in the US. Then again, I didn’t do a whole lot of dishes there. America is a haven for those of us who despise doing the dishes, since you can buy anything ready-made in a neat to-go wrapping there. I am fairly sure they’d have ready-made tomatoes if it hadn’t been for the fact that tomatoes already are pretty ready, and not actually in need of further making. The family I lived with often used paper plates. My save-the-world-one-recycled-can-at-the-time side didn’t approve, but the rest of me secretly did.

Anyway, I suspect that my dishwashloathing started around the time I came back from the US. Right about when I moved into an apartment with another human being who also produced dishes and whose dishes I periodically had to wash (for the record, she periodically washed mine as well, so we’re good). Until this moment the concept of washing dishes had been something I didn’t mind. After this moment, it became something I hated.

When I moved out of that apartment, one of the things I was looking forward to was having only my own dishes to wash again. Unfortunately I forgot that this also meant that I would be the only one doing the washing (or dishing, as I know it isn’t called, but I am tempted to ignore my knowledge. Why does this simple activity need three words? The fact that “Doing the dishes” practically is an entire sentence makes me hate this activity even more!).

When I lived with someone else I was able to dislike that they produced a lot of dirty dishes. Now I don’t have that luxury. I am left with disliking that I produce a lot of dirty dishes. It is terribly annoying.

So, can’t there be a solution to this newfound grievance of mine?

I think the dishes ought to do themselves. It’s not my fault there are dishes to be done! Well, actually, it is my fault. But it isn’t my fault that it is my fault. To quote my nephew: “It’s not FAAAAAIR!!!”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do the dishes, as there is no one else to dish them out on.


Boonsong said...

If you don't like doing the dishes just throw them in the dustbin as soon as you've eaten. That's my solution. It should work well for 2 or 3 days.
Thanks for an amusing post.

All the best, Boonsong

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I can relate to you on that one, when my husband was alive we used to take turns to wash the dishes, now alone there is only me so what ever mess and how many dishes I use it my job to do them.


sue said...

My mother used to wipe them down with a piece of kitchen paper, then pile them in hot soapy water, and 'let them do themselves'.
She'd then stack them on the draining board covered with a tea towel and let them drip dry.
She also used to hang the washing on the clothes line in the rain so it would rinse.
She was in to labour saving :)

My solution was to get a dishwasher.



Cassandra Jade said...

I hate dishes too. To the point where I sometimes don't bother to cook a meal I had planned simply because I don't want to wash all the pans.
Mostly I don't want dirty dishes lying about but I can never really find the tiem when I want to wash them.

M.J. Nicholls said...

Needing to wash the dishes tells me you aren't licking them clean, therefore you aren't fully enjoying your meals. Try to make lip-smacking delicacies and the problem will recede. (Though lip-smacking can be even more tiring than dish-washing).

Cruella Collett said...

Boonsong - that might get kind of expensive. Especially if I keep insisting on using my good plates...

Yvonne - and no one else to blame either!

Sue - tee hee, while your mother's solution definitely is amusing, I think yours is probably more hygienic. I will get a dishwasher eventually, but right now I have no room for one!

Cassandra - been there... It's silly, really..

Mark - maybe I should get a dog to do the licking? But then I would have to pick up dog crap instead... Maybe I'll just do the dishes...

Erinn said...

I hate washing dishes before they go into the dish washer,,, it seems like a useless step.

I also HATE vacuuming my stairs. I'll go years between doing that.

Clarissa Draper said...

Compared with cleaning the shower, dishes are easy. I have to wash three times a day for three (sometimes four) people. It's tiring but also a way I can zone out and think.


RosieC said...

I also used to love doing dishes. It was like meditation time. Sometimes I didn't even want my husband to help (can you imagine!!!). Not so much anymore. I pretty well loath them now, too, and can also identify the point of no return.

My solution, when the dishes are piled as high as a giraffe's eye, is to blast my music pretty loud (thick walls...) or grab my iPod and shove it in my pocket and shake my booty while I'm scrubbing some baked-on grease. It doesn't cure anything, but it lessens the blow.

Mohamed Mughal said...

I'm with Rosie above; I turn the thinking part of my brain off and listen to the water going over the cups and glasses and plates and forks and spoons...

If I were there, Cruella, I'd do them for you :)

Jules said...

Oh I so agree. Though I have a dishwasher I am the one loading the dishwasher. What a hoot, you write about this. My pet peeve is the self-cleaning oven that does not know when it is time to clean its self. :D
Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Jayne said...

I think a dishwasher is the only solution! I am an angry washer upper - it's a battle between me and the sink. There are nearly always casualties... I'm not to be trusted with plates. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Doing the dishes is annoying because it's a never-ending chore. There's always more somewhere!

Peggy said...

I have been doing a lot of dishes since I arrived at Marjorie's place. And beleive me there are many more of them than you have, if you know the size of Marjorie's family.

Slushpile Slut said...

I am so thankful for my dishwasher and if I have to put a glass or plate in the dishwasher 3x before it finally comes clean...So be it!!

I'd rather be a writer than a domestic goddess anyway, which is a good thing because I'm a way better writer than a domestic goddess :)

Cruella Collett said...

Erinn - yeah, doesn't it? I suppose it's better than washing them AFTER they've been in the dishwasher, but still...

Clarissa - that's true. And if you do them trice a day, it doesn't turn into a mountain. That helps (but if I were you I'd convince the other members of my household to help)

Rosie - exactly! Why can't I feel like that when I do the dishes anymore? I have to have music too to stand it these days..

Mohamed - I should try to think of it as off-mode for the brain, yeah. And thanks for that generous offer - if you were here I'd let you wash them ;)

Jules - haha, stupid oven! Not much use when it has to be told to clean itself!

Jayne - maybe that's a good tactic to make someone else do them for you..?

Alex - so true. And if there isn't more at the moment, it only takes a single meal before there is. Bah!

Peggy - oh, I see I don't have anything to complain about... You win! ;)

Slushie (can I call you that? :P) - I have no aspirations in the domestic goddess department either, so I'm definitely aiming for a dishwasher some day. As soon as my kitchen is big enough for one!

Lynda Young said...

I'm the only one who does the dishes in this household and yep some days I look at the pile waiting to be done and I think, "urgh!"

Claudia said...

LOL! Your post hits close to home. I hate doing the dishes. My hubby is nice enough to help me when I'm inspired writing my short stories (Unfortunately, we don't have a dishwasher, sniff, sniff). BTW, I love your banner and your digressions ;)
It's so cool to find someone who's into giraffes (they're lovely animals). Kudos on your blog!

LTM said...

UGH, CC! You = preacher, me = choir... although lately I've morphed into hating putting them AWAY... for some reason that irritates me worse. :D

Stephen Tremp said...

I'm the one in my house who loads and unloads the dishwasher. My kids tried to help once by taking dirty dishes out of the dishwasher and cleaning them with Windex, then putting htem back in the cupboard. Its the thought that counts.

Stephen Tremp

Cruella Collett said...

Lynda - sounds like you need to train the other members of your household!

Claudia - your husband must be a keeper! And thank you, it's always nice to hear that people feel welcome here :)

Leigh - this is also true. I keep leaving them out till I have to clear the bench to do the next batch...

Stephen - haha, that is too cute! Too bad the thought doesn't clean dishes ;)

Pat Tillett said...

Call me weird (others have), washing dishes is the one household chore I seem to get a sense of accomplishment from. All I ask is that people rinse the muck off of them before they park them in the sink.

Cruella Collett said...

Pat - I won't call you weird, I'll call you a hero! And I agree - rinsing makes the world a better place.

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