Monday, August 9, 2010

On creative lying or bold faced awarding

I know, I know. Horrible title… I was exhausted from all the inventiveness going on further down this post, okay?

I mentioned last week that I had one more award up my sleeve. This one I’ve been holding for a while – not because I am not grateful to the wonderful Patricia Stoltey who gave it to me (I am!) – but because I’ve been slightly intimidated about its requirements.

The Bold Face Liar Creative Writer Award requires you to:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link to them.

2. Add the award to your blog.

3. Tell six outrageous lies about yourself and one truth. (Another variant: Tell six truths and one outrageous lie. YOU get to guess which variant I chose – and which statements are true, as well as which are lies.)

4. Nominate six creative liars –I mean writers– and post links to them.

5. Let your nominees know that they have been nominated.

I must admit I was slightly put off by the task of listing true, false and/or plausible facts about myself – mostly because I didn’t feel like I would be able to pull off writing any interesting anecdotes about myself and pretend they were lies, or pretend they were truths… I’ve only lived (almost) 25 years – I haven’t had the time for all that much action yet!

Oh, well. I tried. Like Patricia I won’t give away whether I am posting six lies and one truth, or six truths and one lie. It’s all for you to find out.

1) As should be known to all regulars here, I work part-time in a bookshop, and I have done so for eight years now. Aside from this, though, I have also had (more or less) paid work as a baby sitter, gardener, soccer camp cook, wedding player, wedding present opener, university lecturer, obituary writer and maid.

2) The only time I ever skipped school was one of my final math classes in high school, and the reason I skipped it was that I went to see the Norwegian Crown Prince who was visiting town.

3) I didn’t learn how to ride a bike until I was about twenty, and I still don’t feel comfortable riding one.

4) The only continent I have not yet visited is Africa (not counting the two poles, that is). I almost got to go to Egypt for a school trip once, but the trip got cancelled because of the Iraq war.

5) I have never failed a subject to this day. The poorest grade I ever got in school was a 3+ (which is roughly equivalent to somewhere between a C and a D), and it was in a craft class. I was so annoyed with the teacher that I talked him into giving me a better grade. (I think I ended up with 4-, which is slightly closer to a C.)

6) I once applied for a position at a show theatre, just for kicks. Much to my surprise I actually got called in for an audition (which surely would have been the most embarrassing experience of my life had I gone, but I chickened out). Who knows, maybe I could have been a show girl?

7) I was once fined and banned from the new Opera House in Oslo. The reason? Drinking in public. How was I supposed to know that this was the only place in Oslo where the otherwise dormant “public abuse of alcoholic substances” rule applied?

Those were my truths. I mean lies. I mean… Oh, you’ll find out eventually ;)

However, the most important part remains – passing the award on. Now, I always get numbers mixed up. For this one I was sure I was supposed to find seven liars, I mean bloggers, but then I reread Patricia’s post and realized I was making false assumptions… I was supposed to give the award to SIX bloggers. Oh, well. In the past I have cut the numbers short a few times, so I feel I have a little leeway here. I will stubbornly give the Bold Faced Liar Creative Writer Award to these SEVEN lovely people, in no particular order:

Mr. Stupid

Powdered Toast Man


Leigh T. Moore

Rosie Connolly

Georgina Dollface

Boonsong Somboon

Happy guessing! I’ll check back in tomorrow with the TRUE version of my claims above.


Cassandra Jade said...

Okay I'm terrible at this one. I'll just have to wait until you let us know which ones are true.

Boonsong said...

Thanks for the award. I'm tempted to ask you what I should do with it, but I worry that you might tell me in words of one syllable.
And tomorrow you're going to tell us the truth about you? I'm not sure that I can take that. Is the world ready?
Thanks for a fun post and a welcome plug.

Very best wishes, Boonsong

Cruella Collett said...

CJ - you'll just have to wait and see, then ;)

Boonsong - I tried thinking of clever one-syllable words to reply, but I failed. Thus: The essentiality of recipients' acceptance of the above token of appreciation is entirely nonobligatory.

And you're right, the world might not be ready. Perhaps I ought to keep my deep, dark secrets a little longer...

Powdered Toast Man said...

Thanks for the award. I am honored. I wish it was a giraffe award though.

I am guessing that all are lies expect skipping that math class, that one is true.

Ann said...

Congratulations on the award. It is an interesting one isn't it.

RosieC said...

I think I have to agree with Powdered Toast Man. I could go through all my reasons, but then it would be terribly embarrassing if I were wrong :)

Thanks for passing this on to me. Should be fun.

Jen said...

This was so hard!!! I'm guessing all are lies except the one about riding a bike... then again they were all so good I'm no longer sure!!

Cruella Collett said...

PTM - whenever I get a giraffe award it's got your name on it!

Ann - certainly, and it makes replying to comments really tricky ;)

Rosie - tee hee, embarassing for you or for me? I'm sure I could endure the shame :p

Jen - well, it.. Oh, I almost gave it away there... ;)

Deb and Barbara said...

Well, if these are lies you've told them in a very convincing way -- subtle details, not over-the-top. If they're the truth, you are as adorable as I always thought!

Boonsong said...

Miss Cruella

Wow! Who ate the dictionary for breakfast?
Re Your Secrets:-

Take care, Boonsong

Jemi Fraser said...

These are fun!

Hmmm... I'm going to say skipping the math class is the truth :)

Talli Roland said...

Congrats on the award and to those you've passed it on to! I'd love to make a guess but I'm so rubbish at lies vs truth so I'll wait to see what's real! :)

LTM said...

Well THANKS, dearie! I enjoyed all your little vacay posts. I'm playing catch-up this a.m. But I've left you something on my B to the LO, G to the izzay~

check it out, ya'll!

Now are we supposed to guess the true statement? I'm guessing #3 b/c my 8 yr-old fell trying to learn to ride her bike and NO amount of bribing will get her back on. I mean NONE.

Are you two twins?

Clarissa Draper said...

I think they're truths but I guess I'll find out soon. Also, congrats and I will check out the other bloggers now.


Jules said...

Congrats on the award. I'm a terrible poker player so I have no idea, fact or fiction. You will tell someday? :D
Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Georgina Dollface said...

Do you know how many giraffes there are in Africa? Give your love of these creatures, I find it impossible to believe you have never been there! (So that's my pick for the untruth).
Thanks for the award. I will pass it along this weekend. I did this award meme once. It was really hard to come up with an untruth, but it was fun to write the post and see what people guessed as my untruth. I'm looking forward to writing another one and reading the other award winners posts! - G

Cruella Collett said...

Barbara - that's surely must be the nicest way possible to interpret this post!

Boonsong - someone else did, which is why I could only find long, elaborate words instead of short, effective ones...
And I will spill. Tomorrow ;)

Jemi - looks like several of you think I am a royalist, huh ;)

Talli - thanks ;) You'll just have to wait, then! (Not the worst thing to be rubbish at, though)

Leigh - you're very welcome, and thank you right back, I assume? Will head right over now to see what this is all about ;)
And I will answer your question tomorrow, I promise!

Clarissa - please do, there are some absolute gems there!

Jules - definitely! Tomorrow!

Georgina - I love your reasoning, but I cannot say whether it is true... Looking forward to reading your reply - and sorry that you have to do it twice (well, you don't *have* to, but if you want to...) It's difficult keeping track of who already has these things and not, so I rarely do anymore.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Congrats on the award.....I had it ssome time ago. Also to the people you gave it to.

I can't even guess which question is the answer, will wait until you tell us.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'm probably way off, but I just can't picture you doing #7.

Patricia Stoltey said...

Hi Cruella -- oh, yes, I'm definitely interested (and thanks for linking back to my blog).

I suspect you're far more creative than you let on. I skipped all the comments to make sure you haven't already announced the truth or lie, and I didn't want to be influenced by others. So, I'm going to guess you played a tiny trick on us and listed one item in #1 that's false -- everything else would be truthful. So the #1 thing I think you haven't done is: obituary writer.

Thanks for the list of blogs I can now go explore. That's one of the best parts of the award process.


Cruella Collett said...

Yvonne - I'm sure your lies and/or truths were fascinating :)

Alex - I agree that that one might be slightly "off" from my regular profile. We shall see whether it actually is...

Patricia - that is an interesting guess (which is all I will say!). And I agree with you - getting to know new bloggers is definitely the best part of the process :)

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I really have a bad track record at guessing these things, but that doesn’t keep me from trying. I think six are true and the one about riding a bike is the false one. I have absolutely no reasoning behind my stab in the dark!)

Palindrome said...

I'm voting for number one!!

arlee bird said...

Well I certainly have no idea but I'm going to depart from the predominant thought and say I think they are all true except for missing the math class. Miss just one class to see the crown prince? Do you just have one class per day?

Tossing It Out

Vatche said...

Thank you for the award, Cruella, I'll be sure to pass it around on my next post, which will be on Saturday!

Write on!

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