It is Friday (I bet you all knew that, but it’s a neat way to introduce what I’m about to say, you see. Also, it’s a neat way for those of you who perhaps didn’t know it was Friday to find out. Plus, there might be readers in the future [I said might. Unrealistic, perhaps, but there might be…] who are not reading this on a Friday, and for them it would surely be useful to know this was supposed to be read on a Friday. I think. I’m not entirely sure why that would be so useful, but you never know what comes in handy. So I’m including this particular piece of information mostly the convenience of any potential future readers who for some reason are backtracking my blog and for some other reason [probably] needs to know what day this was posted [because, in all fairness, it is not written on a Friday. It’s written on a Thursday. Delusional Thursday, obviously] [have I closed all brackets then? No? No.]) [There.]
It is Friday. And on Fridays, everyone should make a point of laughing. This is my philosophy (well, no, it isn’t really. If I do have a philosophy regarding laughing – and I am not at all sure I do – it should be more in the lines of “everyone should be laughing every day”, but for the sake of the argument I’ll stick to the Friday-laugh-philosophy. In all fairness, Friday is a day too, so it’s not a contradictory philosophy. It’s not Descartes and Rousseau. Anyway…). Seeing as everyone should make a point of laughing on Fridays, it also follows that we all should make a point of making others laugh. Spread the laugh, so to speak. So, it is my goal to make you laugh with this post (are you laughing yet? No? Oh, come on… It doesn’t matter if you have to force it – that’ll count! Ha? Ha ha? Hahaha? Still nothing? Right, I’ll keep on trying then…).
The thing is, I don’t really have an idea where to start trying to make you laugh. I don’t have anything particularly funny to blog about, seeing as there has been very little “funny” on my schedule lately. I spent great parts of today (yesterday, when you’re reading this. No, I’m not deliberately trying to confuse you…) talking to my supervisor about my thesis, and we all know (at least I assume you know this, but then again I have a nasty tendency to think people can read my mind and thus understand how I feel. Not often happening [fortunately, I suppose], but in this case I think it is safe to say that if you have read my blog with some regularity, you should know…) how little humour there is to be found in my thesis and the work surrounding it (yes, I know the phrase “work surrounding my thesis” is awkward, but I am too tired to straighten it out. After all, this is no thesis).
Where was I? Oh, yes. Non-funny day. And while I sometimes feel that non-funniness can be converted to funniness by employing a great big dash of irony, I don’t really feel like doing that now. I might be too sleepy, or the subject (my thesis, in case you fell off in between all the digressions) might be too touchy. Either way, no ironizing (oh, why, of all nights, isn’t this a word? Ironizing should totally be a word! But the only option offered by my spell check alternative thingie is ionizing, which isn’t the same thing at all!) (UPDATE! Ironize is indeed a word according to the Free Online Dictionary, which means that the stupid Word dictionary has failed AGAIN [or it means I am putting too much emphasis on an online dictionary]. Ha! Take that! [not the band. Did they reunite, or was that only a rumour? And what about Robbie Williams?]) – no ironizing tonight (or today, Friday. Maintain the illusion).
So, funny is off the list. Only I wanted to be funny. So what I am left with is this little Facebook incident that happened while I was impatiently waiting for the cake I am baking (long story – all right – let’s face it, I’m in a long story kind of mood... I am baking because I promised to bring a cake to a book circle meeting/radio program broadcast survey thing I am going to tomorrow. It was supposed to be last week [well, actually, it was supposed to be two weeks ago], but due to any number of unfortunate events, it got cancelled, twice. So, tomorrow we are on, and I promised to bring a carrot [well, no, cake] since I have largely been the one holding the stick, trying to make people commit. I meant to bake the cake earlier today, but for some reason we didn’t have sugar, and this is not the kind of neighbourhood where you borrow a cup of sugar [plus, there is a convenience store about 100 meters down the road]. So I had to go out and buy sugar. Which I did. Eventually. But it got a lot later than I planned, not that it is terribly late [22:30/10:30 pm], but I am terribly tired. So I should go to bed. Which I can do, now that the cake is done. But then I started writing this. Wow. Now I digress within my digressions. Even I get confused then! Anyway [#2]).
While I was waiting for the cake in the oven, I decided to try to figure out on my very own how some people are able to post stars (★) on Facebook. I tried a couple likely options, but no matter what I did, the only thing I accomplished was to spam the newsfeed of my friends (sorry if any of you are reading). Instead, I asked for help. And help I got.
Mark handily provided me with a link to a useful blog with lots and lots of funny, useless Facebook thingies. Which I tried. All of them. Or at least almost all of them.
The stars and ♫ and ♣♣ and ♦♦ and ♠ all worked perfectly, but there were also something you could do to make sparkly things (notice how the ratio of words like “things” and “thingies” increase dramatically as I grow more tired) appear on your screen. I could not make this work, but apparently I must have done something. Because my Facebook (both profiles too) now think my keyboard is an English-speaking one, instead of the Norwegian-speaking one I do have. Which means that I can no longer use the letters æøå on Facebook (bet you were wondering what the hing today’s blog post title had to do with anything). It also means that a lot of symbols have a different location than what I am used to. ) is (, for instance. Æ is ‘. Ø is ; and å is [.
Refreshing the page did not help.
Logging in and out did not help.
I pictured a future where I would have to convert completely to English, seeing as I would no longer be able to express myself properly in Norwegian on Facebook. Yes, I spend too much time on Facebook.
Fortunately, what did help was either to bake a cake; to write an overly long, complicated and silly blog post; or to fall slightly asleep over the keyboard. I may never know which of these that actually did the trick, but Facebook has forgiven me now. I can once again write Norwegian there (sleepy yay).
So, to conclude, seeing as it is Friday, I think you should do your very best to laugh. If this post did not make you laugh, my feelings aren’t hurt (if anything, I am dead impressed you are still reading, seeing as most people would have fallen off waaaaay up at the first paragraph), but I will strongly encourage you to find something else to laugh about. My stupidity at the keyboard might not have done the trick (but who am I to judge – this might simply be because you have so much compassion that you couldn’t bring yourself to laugh at my misery). My parentheses and brackets might not have done it either (that sounded sort of naughty. I didn’t intend it to, I swear!). My cake might – but chances are you won’t be eating my cake (unless you show up at my friends Merethe and Anne-Lene’s place at 19:30/7:30 pm tomorrow [today – it’s Friday, remember!]). So to make absolutely sure you have a good laugh today, I once again recommend that you force it. Start off with a single “ha”. Keep repeating your “ha’s” with increasing speed. “Ha ha.” “Ha-ha-ha.” “Hahahahahahahahaha.” I promise, if you keep this activity up for more than a minute, you will actually be laughing!
Have a nice weekend! ☺
Good Giraffe! Now Blogger is doing it to me too?!? I suppose that isn’t such a big deal seeing as I always write my blog posts in Word and then copy&paste, but I am NOT happy with Blogger pulling a Facebook on me, pretending that my keyboard isn’t Norwegian! Bah! Bah-ha! Hahahaha! Habahabababababahahahahabahabahbaha! (It isn’t actually helping when you only type it…)
4 comments:
I appear to have caused your keyboard to doubt its bilinguality. So sorry about that.
On the plus side, "ironise" is a word I've heard knocked around. One of those words that evolves faster than people can stick it in the dictionary.
This post's many digressions made me laugh very much. Anyone channelling the spirit of Laurence Sterne is magic in my book. Merry Friday to you too.
Ironise, and not ironize? Huh... I find that I really like words where spelling it with a z instead of an s is an option. Perhaps it is because I, like most Norwegians, have z-withdrawal issues.
Laurence Sterne! Now there is a work in six volumes I need to look into!
I am happy that I made you laugh. It makes my fake philosophy all the more credible!
Silly Mari: Ironise would be BRITISH English. Ironize would be American English. Those Brits are as afraid of Zs as Americans are of Us.
Note though... Isn't Ironize to make (or cover with) iron? instead of to make ironic? Why are the words iron and Irony so close? *scratches head*
And I think you train of thought blogs are ALWAYS funny.
Laurence in America would be Lawrence. U is SCARY! (but regardless of how it's spelled, you are cross dressed, so that's a-okay with me.)
This is why I cannot decide on whether I want to go UK-English or US-English (or Usinglish, as I saw it called the other day). I like letters, as many and weirds ones as possibly, all cramped into the same word. Which is why I will prefer colour over color, labour over labor, but ironize over ironise (according to my bible - the Free Online Dictionary - ironize is "to make ironic in effect" or "to use or indulge in irony" I believe there are very few things I'd rather indulge in than irony. Perhaps chocolate). I'd chose autumn over fall, elevator over lift, pavement over sidewalk, and fraggles over muppets (no, wait, that's different...).
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