Tuesday, February 23, 2010

On things I will not blog about today

Today I will not blog about giraffes.


I will not blog about the weather.

I will not blog about Monster-Mari and how she has recently taken over my life.

I will not blog about red wine. Or white, for that matter.

I will not blog about how the small apartment I am currently living in got even smaller because the two people living there suddenly became three (four if you count Monster-Mari).

I will not blog about how I escaped this claustrophobic feeling by leaving the city for a few days.

I will certainly not blog about how it is incredibly stupid of me to post slightly vicious comments about my current living arrangement on a public blog which can be – and quite possibly is – accessed by people involved.

I will not blog about Sweden (why should I?).

I will not blog about the Olympics. Or pants.

I will not blog about the fact that this is my 101st blog post, and that I let the 100th one go by unannounced.

I will not blog about whether or not this was intentional.

I will not blog about Hawaii.

I will not blog about grapes (of wrath, or otherwise).

I will not blog about music. Regardless of whether I listen to it or not.

I will not blog about worries, headaches, stress, anxiety, complexity, anger, nausea, goose bumps, stomach pains or madness. Thus I will not blog about my thesis, or any aspects relating to it.

I will not blog about any books I’ve recently read, or any I am (not recently) writing.

I will not blog about places I’ve been, people I’ve met or experiences I’ve earned. Yes, I do believe experiences are earned, but I will not blog about this either.

I will not blog about politics. Religion? Uhm… No.

I will not blog about Facebook. I already said I wasn’t going to blog about anything related to my thesis. Yes, I expect a laugh from that. No, I won’t blog about my disappointment if you didn’t laugh.

I will not blog about parentheses. (I already spend too much time on them.)

I will not blog about public transportation.

I will not blog about languages.

I will not blog about Apple-products.

I will not blog about bagels.

I will not, however coerced, blog about jigsaw puzzles.

I will not blog about body parts. Not a single one.

I will not blog about… No, that was about it.

These are the things I will not blog about today.

6 comments:

Watery Tart said...

*dies* Oh, Mari, I chuckled all the way through. This was really beautiful.

TreeX said...

Except where you, like, totally just did, dude... ;)

Jan Morrison said...

reminds me of Michael Ondaatje's Elimination Dance. A wonderful thing not to blog about...

Rayna M. Iyer said...

You will only keep us chucking throughout!

M.J. Nicholls said...

::applauds and has an aneurysm::

word verification: eyerubs

Cruella Collett said...

On Ondaatje - I've got a novel of his here somewhere. Unfortunately, I believe it is in the unaccessible pile, boxed and snowed in. Will try to dig it out by July.

On eyerubs - I've had the eyerubs for a couple of days. I think it comes from screen radiation. Or lazyness. Or both.

On the rest of it - I am bad at answering comments lately. Sorry about that!

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